The discovery that a child in the family is autistic is often met with a variety of reactions. While in a perfect world, all family members, including extended family members, will be supportive, the sad reality is that many are disgusted or disappointed. Is the autistic child often chastised by a family member? Does he or she treat your autistic child unfairly? Is this family member adamant about treating your autistic child the same way he or she treats all of your other children, even when it is inappropriate? There are indications that this parent is not interested in your autistic child or the situation. This is always the case when a child is diagnosed with autism, so as a parent, be conscious and prepared for this to occur.
Unreceptive relatives also do not grasp autism or what it means for your child and your immediate family. While many people associate autism with mental retardation, many autistic children and adults are extremely intelligent; they are simply unable to articulate this in the same manner as others can. Try explaining autism to this family member and inviting him or her to spend time with you and your autistic child. Allow them to see the symptoms of autism and the coping strategies you may use.
If the family member is unsupportive or refuses to listen to your clarification, inquire why this family member is so resistant to the situation. Are they afraid of injuring the child? Are they concerned about the additional responsibilities that come with spending time with the child? Perhaps they feel guilty or humiliated. If you can figure out why a family member is being resistant, you can better fix the problem and potentially help him or her resolve their preconceived notions
Perhaps no amount of conversation or spending time with this family member can help them overcome their prejudice. If this person is adamant, you will never be able to show him or her how beautiful your son or daughter is, autism and all. If this is the case, removing this person from your life would be difficult, but it will also free you and your child from this family member’s negative energy and personality. In this evolving scenario, you need the most constructive assistance possible. Remember that other family members have been helpful and that your children are adapting well and providing you with strength. Participate in parent support groups for autistic children to expand the support network. And keep in mind that you can choose whether to surround yourself with people who support and love your child-family or not.